The Onion: “White Supremacist Tired After Long Day Of Interviews…”

The Onion has written a satirical article lamenting the absurd amount of coverage our movement has received in recent months, featuring a fictional Bryan McCafferty who is “Tired After Long Day Of Interviews With Mainstream News Outlets.”

Following conversations with the Washington Post, the Los Angeles Times, and Newsweek, white supremacist Bryan McCafferty was reportedly exhausted Thursday after a long day of interviews with mainstream news outlets.

The joke here is that the media has been excessively fixated on our rather small and powerless movement. I don’t really disagree, and I believe part of our movement’s problem in the past few months is that we simply weren’t prepared for the exposure and pressure we’ve received in the couple years from when Trump started running for President up until now. Many groups have unraveled, gone into hiding, or devolved into infighting that never would have happened had we never become the center of a media sensation.

The largely Jewish and entirely globalist media convinced themselves that Trump was propelling us into positions of power and influence. They convinced a large subset of our own movement that it was the case as well, resulting in a sort of movement-wide hangover when people started realizing that Trump’s not actually /ourguy/ and we don’t actually have any more access or influence in the conventional political system than we ever did.

“God, I really want to just get home and sleep, but I still have a sit-down with the New York Times at 7:30, and my CNN segment is filming right after at nine,” said McCafferty, lamenting that he didn’t have a spare minute to finish email correspondences about rural neo-Nazis with NPR and PBS NewsHour because a Salon reporter accompanied him this week to better understand his hatred of black and Hispanic neighbors.

Within leftist coffee shop klatches, the hot take now is that we subsist primarily on media attention and need to be dynamically silenced back into irrelevance. That–in conjunction with ruthless social media censorship already underway–will solve this big nasty problem of White people attempting to engage the political process as White people. Yahoo News even had a story claiming we at TradWorker only exist as a media stunt. I dissected the absurd claim in a follow-up, but the incestuous little echo chamber of media types arrive at their conclusions and then haphazardly cram isolated facts and features together to present their opinions as fact.

What we can expect in the coming months is a complete reversal where we receive little exposure above local coverage, and that’s probably a good thing for a movement which needs to focus on grassroots community building and infrastructure development. The League, TradWorker, and some of the others understand that and have been investing their resources accordingly. But there’s still much more work to do to ensure that next time around, we actually are everything the media was afraid we all were this time around: militant, professional, organized, well-funded, and an existential threat to conventional partisan politics.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to spread the message of a white ethnostate, but I just can’t do any more phone interviews with Chris Hayes or Jake Tapper while I’m driving my kids to school. It’s draining.” McCafferty added that he’s at least been fortunate enough to still find time to harass local minorities and Jews.

It’s satirical, so I’m not even irritated that they characterize us as being hateful “supremacists” whose sole passion is harassing local minorities and Jews. The Onion is the one newspaper of record which should be using that sort of language to describe our worldview, platform, and projects. This parody of who we are and what we do is regretfully what the media conglomerates actually report, which then becomes a bonafide Wikipedia source, which then becomes “fact,” as reported by those objective non-partisan think tank professionals at the ADL and the SPLC.

About Matt Parrott 98 Articles
Matt Parrott is a low IQ wignat LARPing costume clown.


  1. Hey, remember how TWP harbors a known race traitor and sodomite, Derrick Davis, as a high-ranking officer? Weird, isn’t it?

  2. Pretty soon there will attention whores giving interviews to the NYT film unit posing as White Nationalists. Oh wait…

  3. Well, we’re all going to be pretty much denied a platform except for local media from here on out.

    So I guess the whole debate over whether or not to try to share our message with audiences is settled.

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