Jezebel: Sunbathe Your Asshole For Wellness

Good evening, Clown World!

What’s going on today in liberal democracy which we all know is the greatest and most glorious form of government ever devised by the genius of man?

Today the internet discovered Metaphysical Meagan who recently moved to California from Texas where she is rising into a higher state of consciousness by sunbathing her asshole.


“Last night, while engaging in my favorite evening activity—procrastinating and feeling morally superior on Twitter—I stumbled upon a viral tweet that read, “People out here butt-chugging sunlight,” and included a screenshot of the above Instagram image. In it, a woman who goes by the name Metaphysical Meagan and possesses a little less than 6,000 followers (she’s 4,000 shy of the microinfluencer title), is seen posing nude. Her legs are extended far above her torso, as if she were about to strap them into the most painful lithotomy stirrups at an OB-GYN appointment in hell. She is doing this, according to her caption, as a part of some process called “perineum sunning.” She’s quite literally sunbathing her asshole, for wellness. You know, the vibes, man.

In the post, she explains that “30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole is the equivalent of a full day of sunlight with your clothes on,” and that it is “an ancient Taoist practice that’s been around for a while!” (Yes, because that is what “ancient” means.) A few weeks after her initial post, presumably because more and more people went to her page to comment after finding various jokes about it online, Metaphysical Meagan posted the photo on Instagram for a second time, now with an outrageously long caption meant to correct any misinformation. She explains that suntanning your asshole is meant to promote the “health & longevity of the physical body,” increase “creativity and creative output” and aid “in a healthy libido & balanced sexual energy.” It is definitely “NOT TO TAN YOUR BUTTHOLE????” Also, “sunscreen is not required.”

In a previous life, Meagan was a high priestess in Ancient Egypt.

I can’t help but wonder if Meagan is one of former Rep. Katie Hill’s constituents.

Note: Who will be the first to find Meagan’s Reddit account? I’ve already found her YouTube and Insta.

View this post on Instagram

?Perenium Sunning? For the past few weeks I have included sunning my bum & yoni? into my daily rising routine. • ??Many of you have been asking about the benefits of this practice: ??30 seconds of sunlight on your butthole is the equivalent of a full day of sunlight with your clothes on!?? Taught by @ra_of_earth & @certifiedhealthnut (This is an ancient Taoist practice that’s been around for a while!) Things I’ve noticed personally In my reality since I’ve implemented this: ?Surges of energy almost immediately! ?Better Sleep ?Better connection to my Sexual energy & control of my Life Force?? ?So much Creativity flowing through my life!!? ?Attracting my desires & intentions with ease. ?Attracting soul tribe & people who are on the same frequency and wavelength as me. • ??I’m spending a maximum of 5 minutes in the morning doing this. @ra_of_earth teaches that 30 seconds is more than enough sunshine exposure down there! ??This is truly more energizing than slamming cups of coffee and is a great alternative to consuming neurotoxic coffee & caffeine that can disrupt your adrenal gland health.?? ?This is such a simple game changing practice!! ??Try it out & let me know your experience?? ??You can do this any time the sun is out… I prefer early in the morning!?? #NakedInNature

A post shared by ? ? Metaphysical Meagan ? ? (@metaphysicalmeagan) on

About Hunter Wallace 12381 Articles
Founder and Editor-in-Chief of Occidental Dissent


  1. At this point, I’m all for strategically placing bombs along the San Andreas fault and setting Fruitopia free to float wherever Gaia wants her to be, man. Just so long as the contagion is contained and far away.

  2. Could be wrong, but the sunbather’s choice of spot appears to be Indian Cove, California (Joshua Tree National Park).

  3. In a just world this wouldn’t be happening but since we don’t live in a just world I hope this single digit IQ cunt gets anal cancer.

  4. She wants to be sodomized by Mohammedans while her cuckolded faggot husband watches from behind the rocks and beats off, sobbing hysterically in the process.

  5. There’s certainly no lack of morons in this world. I think the human population needs a serious check. It’ll happen eventually, one way or another.

  6. I’m so disappointed that her video didn’t give us a peek at her bung. I hope her next journey to enlightenment is to Haiti for tutelage under a Voodoo doctor.

Comments are closed.