11 Comments

  1. It would have been hilarious if he had a big hook nose, nasally voice and was rubbing his hands together the whole time.

  3. “We can always put abortion clinics on federal land.”

    I wonder if they are going to put these things on Indian Reservations the way they have casinos everywhere with half the asians in the US addicted to those things. Abortion clinics wouldn’t be as lucrative though so the tribal leadership may not be too keen on having something so shady on their watch.

  4. It would have been funnier if the devil were Jerod Nadler painted red. Jerod Nadler reminds me of the evil guy from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang. LOL! But it was really funny, Mad props!

  5. As a non-believer I find this video ironic.

    I was raised a Catholic and told that the road to hell was so wide it was basically impossible to ever get to heaven.

    A similar story as portrayed on this website was told to me:

    http://www.saintsbooks.net/books/St.%20Leonard%20of%20Port%20Maurice%20-%20The%20Little%20Number%20of%20Those%20Who%20Are%20Saved.htm

    The following narrative from Saint Vincent Ferrer will show you what you may think about it. He relates that an archdeacon in Lyons gave up his charge and retreated into a desert place to do penance, and that he died the same day and hour as Saint Bernard. After his death, he appeared to his bishop and said to him, “Know, Monsignor, that at the very hour I passed away, thirty-three thousand people also died. Out of this number, Bernard and myself went up to heaven without delay, three went to purgatory, and all the others fell into Hell.”

    Our chronicles relate an even more dreadful happening. One of our brothers, well-known for his doctrine and holiness, was preaching in Germany. He represented the ugliness of the sin of impurity so forceful that a woman fell dead of sorrow in front of everyone. Then, coming back to life, she said, “When I was presented before the Tribunal of God, sixty thousand people arrived at the same time from all parts of the world; out of that number, three were saved by going to Purgatory, and all the rest were damned.”

    So out of 33,000 people only 5 were saved.

    Since Roe v Wade, something like 70 million abortions have happened. If all of those 70 had grown up to be adults and had to face the temptations of this earth, then many of them would have gone to hell

    5 saved / 33,000 people = 0.00015152 salvation rate for adults

    70 million x 0.00015152 = 10,606 saved

    Ultimately Roe V Wade saved 69,989,394 souls from temptation and ultimate damnation

    The bottom line is that abortion and the slaughter of innocents protects souls from the sadistic vindictiveness of the Christian God.

  6. Somehow, I don’t imagine the forces of evil are taking this setback in stride. I should never have been decided by the supreme court in 1973 the way that it was. The court gave the fed took more power than is granted to them. This should always have been a matter for each state to work out.

  8. The only two abortion rights people quoted in the wusa9 article were a Jew woman and and Irish lesbian.

    Sheila Katz and Jamie Munson.

    The fruit does not fall far from the tree.

  9. Ok, the unskippable cinematic sequence in video games joke was funny. But this kind of satire is just as douchey as the Onion, and not thought through critically.

    Let’s assume there is a real devil and hell like the readers and writers of Babylon Bee think there is.

    Satan’s goal is to get the most people in hell. Unless you think God sends aborted babies to hell for not believing in Jesus, does it not make sense from a strategic perspective to allow babies to be born in sin, and grow up to be sinners that die and go to hell for being sinners?

    If Satan is playing the numbers game, I’d say he has a better shot filling up hell with dead adults than dead babies.

    Anyway, it’s just dumb and hollow to compare your enemies to Satan. So typical of foaming Jewish rage in the Old Testament. The Jews were always comparing political rulers they didn’t like to Satan. The Jews also came up with the story about how their ethnic brethren the Moabites and Edomites were peoples who were the product of incest. Nasty little liars, nasty little people.

    There are a lot of good reasons to dislike abortion, you don’t have to get hung up on trying to justify your position from vicious ancient books. By the way, if the procedure in Numbers 5 isn’t an abortion, I don’t know what is. It is clear from that passage that the purpose of the procedure is to abort babies that are suspected of being cuckoo’s eggs. Strangely enough, abortion is a right which belongs to the husband in this Jewish prescription.

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