“Ram down our… throats… jeez, is it getting hot in here? While it’s not the worst stump blunder by any stretch, coming on the heels of Saturday’s record-scratch of a performance, it’s not a great look for Rubio, who’s now facing growing calls to release his birth certificate to quiet claims he was constructed from the ground up in the basement of Miami-Dade County Best Buy.
It will be interesting to see how the Rubio folks try to spin the new speaking style, but here are a few tried-and-true options the campaign may wish to employ before hitting the panic button:
Turn the Marco Rubio off and then back on again.
Take Marco Rubio’s cartridge out and blow on it.
Clear Marco Rubio’s cache and delete his browser history.
If the Marco Rubio’s still not working, make sure he’s plugged in before calling customer service for help. It’s always embarrassing when the not-plugged in thing is the right answer.”